Dealing with Guilt

I am writing this in hopes someone will read this that needs to get informed of the damage we do to our Children,quit smoking, with our smoking.My wonderful Son, Brent, was recently diagnosed with Leukemia. He is going through so much right now...I see this 6' 260lb guy who is only 30 going through so much at such a young age. Because of the Chemo pills he has to take, he is so weak that he cannot even open his Dr's door anymore, he now has to push a button to let him in. He is loosing weight and is either sick or nauseated continually. He is a single Dad raising his twin Sons, 9 years old... he hates being down like this because he cannot get out and play ball with them anymore or ride their bikes with them. He cannot work right now, he has had to undergo tests that I would not wish on my worst enemy! I am fairly positive that Brent will be back to some kind of normalcy some day, but never like he has been...he will get tired more easily and he will have to continue to take the Chemo meds, probably for the rest of his life! He will have to have another bone marrow test in another six months... these are so painful!! it just goes on and on....The one thing that I am finding hard to live with is...I smoked in the house with him and in the car...he smoked for about three years when he was younger...why? Because he was raised with it!!! I think smoking to a guy,stop smoking, especially, is really cool for them and it is even more so if his parents smoke. So...all this that my precious Son is going through is all because of me and my smoking.........this is something that I am really having a hard time dealing with and accepting.If you are a smoker, if you know of someone who smokes or if you have quit and are thinking about giving up your quit....RE-THINK that...do you want to live with the fact that YOU are responsible for taking even a little bit of your childs life away from him because of YOUR weakness??? I think not...the one thing our children depend on us for is protection...I sure did a lousy job of protecting my Son or any of my Children from this monster called "Cancer" Thanks for listening.